Choosing Myself: Mental Health, Boundaries, and a Deeper Connection

It’s a bright, sunny day—the first in months. Sitting at work, eating an Eskimo Pie, I bit my tongue and then sat in shock as I stared at my busted fingernail, half clinging to my skin. Along with the taste of blood and ice cream, as my tongue swelled.

I hear the words:

"Shadows grow so long before my eyes,

And they're moving across the page,

Suddenly the day turns into night (ooh),

… But don't, oh no, hesitate,

'Cause your love just won't wait, ayy-yeah."

I think to myself, What the heck is this? What is the message here?

Then, the answer intuitively came to me, and I did some research to back up my intuition to help better explain in a blog, lol.

Let’s break it down step by step:

1.    "It’s a bright sunny day, the first in months."

*This symbolizes clarity, renewal, or the end of a long emotional or mental struggle. A new perspective may be emerging.

2.    "Sitting at work eating an Eskimo pie, I bit my tongue."

*Biting one's tongue can symbolize holding back words or suppressing something that needs to be expressed. The Eskimo pie (cold, ice) suggests something frozen or numbed, I feel its likely emotions that have been stored away.

3.    "Then sat in shock as I stared at my busted fingernail half clinging to my skin."

*Fingernails symbolize protection, strength, and resilience. A broken nail could indicate vulnerability, something being forcefully removed, or a change in how I "grip" or handle things in life.

4.    "Along with the taste of blood and ice cream, my tongue swelled."

*Blood represents life force, pain, or a sacrifice. The swelling of the tongue could suggest difficulty in communication or a powerful emotional reaction.

5.    The lyrics: "Shadows grow so long before my eyes, And they're moving across the page, Suddenly the day turns into night (ooh), … But don't, oh no, hesitate, Cause your love just won't wait, ayy-yeah."

*These are from Baby, I Love Your Way by Peter Frampton. Shadows growing long often symbolize something coming to light, the approach of change, or the passage of time.

*"Suddenly the day turns into night" suggests to me a sudden shift or realization.

*"But don’t hesitate, cause your love just won’t wait"—I feel this could be urging action, encouraging me to move forward without fear or delay, possibly in matters of the heart or something I deeply desire.

-I received a wake-up call or a moment of sudden awareness.

-There is something I've been suppressing (biting my tongue) that now demands to be spoken or acknowledged.

-A wound (busted nail, swelling tongue) might be signaling inner healing.

-The song is telling me not to hesitate—whether in love, self-expression, or taking an important step in my life.

-The contrast of day and night I feel symbolizes duality—light and shadow, conscious and subconscious, clarity and uncertainty—reminding me to embrace both.

Anyone that knows me knows that I have been extremely busy dealing with issues inside and outside my home—including teenage melodrama and caring for those with special needs who require my undivided attention, keeping up with household chores, constantly sanitizing and cleaning my house because of the special needs present and the lack of responsibility exhibited by other household members, help clean for a friend a few times throughout the month.  On top of that, I work full-time and design/operate this website. I, for some reason, have allowed emotional abuse from certain relationships in the past year or so. Seriously, I’m exhausted. I’ve been too busy and too tired to take care of myself.

Now I’ll break this down on how its manifesting.

Physically – I’ve been neglecting my body, gaining weight, losing strength, and feeling sluggish. My energy levels are at an all-time low, and even the simplest tasks feel like they take twice as much effort. My sleep is restless, and I wake up feeling just as drained as when I went to bed. Aches and tension have become my normal, and I can feel the stress manifesting in my body.

Mentally – My thoughts feel heavy, clouded by stress, frustration, and overwhelm. Depression and resentment creep in as I struggle to keep up with everything. My patience is thin, and I find myself either shutting down or reacting more emotionally than I usually would. I feel like I’m running on autopilot, disconnected from joy, creativity, and the mental clarity I once had —except when I’m working on this website. In many ways, the website feels like my saving grace, the one thing keeping me balanced and grounded.

Spiritually – I feel disconnected from my higher self, my intuition, and my usual sense of inner peace. The practices that once brought me clarity—meditation, energy work, prayer, or simply being in nature—have fallen to the wayside. The synchronicities and divine guidance I used to notice so clearly now feel distant, like I’m out of alignment with the universe. It’s as if my spiritual well has run dry, and I know that unless I make a change and realign, I’ll continue to feel lost in the noise of daily life.

I recognize that I can’t pour from an empty cup, and it’s time to take my own healing seriously. I need to make space for myself—not just physically, but mentally and spiritually—so that I can regain balance, reconnect with my true self, and show up as the best version of me.

This actually is what prompted me to do the free “Boost Mental Health” class.

I’ve come to realize that mental health is just as important as physical health—if not more. When we neglect our minds, everything else begins to suffer. Stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion don’t just stay in the background; they spill into every part of our lives. They affect how we interact with others, how we make decisions, and even how we experience joy. When left unchecked, burnout can make us feel like we’re just existing instead of truly living.

For too long, I’ve been pushing through, telling myself that I’ll rest later, that I’ll prioritize myself when things calm down. But the truth is, later never comes unless I make it a priority. That’s why I decided to launch this free class—to not only help others but to remind myself that healing is a journey we can take together.

Moving forward, I’m making a promise to myself—to carve out time for my well-being, to listen to my body and mind, and to prioritize the practices that keep me centered. But that also means making some tough choices.

I can no longer carry the weight of everyone else’s problems at the expense of my own peace. There are things in my household, in my relationships, and in my daily life that no longer serve me—and I am ready to let them go. That may mean setting firmer boundaries, having difficult conversations, or even walking away from relationships that drain more than they give. I am choosing to release the emotional burdens, the expectations, and the cycles that keep me stuck in exhaustion. It’s time to create a space where I can breathe, heal, and truly thrive.

At the same time, I’m looking to strengthen my relationship with God and Jesus—not in a religious sense, but in a deeply personal and spiritual way. I want to feel more connected to the guidance, love, and peace that comes from that relationship. For me, this means being more intentional in my thoughts, my actions, and the way I show up in the world. It’s about listening more, trusting more, and surrendering the things I can’t control. I know that as I realign myself, I will find the strength, clarity, and inner peace I’ve been searching for.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d love for you to join me. Let’s take this step toward better physical, mental, spiritual health together.